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redfiona99Title: All these things we have lost and gained again
Fandom: Reboot-verse Star Trek
Disclaimer: The characters aren’t mine, they belong to Paramount and Gene Rodenberry (or his estate). No money is being made from this.
Characters: Original version Spock
Rating: PG-13
Notes/Warnings: Set after the first film, spoilers for that. Contains mentions of canonical character death.
Summary: An elegy for a universe lost, a paean for a new one discovered
Spock starts to believe that the universe will only ever allow him the understanding of one parent at a time.
He grieves for the only mother he will ever have in this universe, a woman he will never know, he grieves for the mother he did have, who he misses even now, he grieves with this other version of himself, who will never have another mother, and all the years of her he will miss.
He grieves with his father, who sees someone his own son may never become. A son of his who volunteered for the Kolinahr, and then saw, with painful logic, the need for emotions. A son now as Vulcan as Sarek could ever have wanted, whose own Sarek could never see that. Spock worries that he will become another weight for this Spock to bear, held up as someone that the son of Sarek should become, and why has he not become him? For Sarek, any Sarek, could be stubborn, almost deliberately, illogically, so.
Spock knows he should withdraw, fill his time with duties on New Vulcan. For it is not just a world that has gone, but many of the greatest minds of Vulcan, and while Spock is not one of them, he has memory of most of them, and of many of the rituals and artefacts that have gone, memory he can share.
However, he cannot resist the opportunity to spend time with this version of his father, a father who seeks his presence, not to judge him, but for his own comfort.
It means he can resist the other temptation of being on the Enterprise once more. He is the last of this crew. His friends have all gone before. And here they are again. He is so grateful for that. An emotional response, yes, but it would be more illogical not to thank the universe for this.
As with his father, he can see all the ways this crew are his and not his. A doctor, running away, and, other than the doctor, Spock is the only one who knows what from, and he cannot hurt his friend, either of him, by offering him comfort. A Chief Engineer, punished for his brilliance, in a way he never was in the other universe. Nyota Uhura, always beautiful, but here something to Spock she never was before. Captain Pike, injured yes, but nowhere near as severely as his heroism had brought him.
Spock has lost everything and gained something he never could have hoped for.
Fandom: Reboot-verse Star Trek
Disclaimer: The characters aren’t mine, they belong to Paramount and Gene Rodenberry (or his estate). No money is being made from this.
Characters: Original version Spock
Rating: PG-13
Notes/Warnings: Set after the first film, spoilers for that. Contains mentions of canonical character death.
Summary: An elegy for a universe lost, a paean for a new one discovered
Spock starts to believe that the universe will only ever allow him the understanding of one parent at a time.
He grieves for the only mother he will ever have in this universe, a woman he will never know, he grieves for the mother he did have, who he misses even now, he grieves with this other version of himself, who will never have another mother, and all the years of her he will miss.
He grieves with his father, who sees someone his own son may never become. A son of his who volunteered for the Kolinahr, and then saw, with painful logic, the need for emotions. A son now as Vulcan as Sarek could ever have wanted, whose own Sarek could never see that. Spock worries that he will become another weight for this Spock to bear, held up as someone that the son of Sarek should become, and why has he not become him? For Sarek, any Sarek, could be stubborn, almost deliberately, illogically, so.
Spock knows he should withdraw, fill his time with duties on New Vulcan. For it is not just a world that has gone, but many of the greatest minds of Vulcan, and while Spock is not one of them, he has memory of most of them, and of many of the rituals and artefacts that have gone, memory he can share.
However, he cannot resist the opportunity to spend time with this version of his father, a father who seeks his presence, not to judge him, but for his own comfort.
It means he can resist the other temptation of being on the Enterprise once more. He is the last of this crew. His friends have all gone before. And here they are again. He is so grateful for that. An emotional response, yes, but it would be more illogical not to thank the universe for this.
As with his father, he can see all the ways this crew are his and not his. A doctor, running away, and, other than the doctor, Spock is the only one who knows what from, and he cannot hurt his friend, either of him, by offering him comfort. A Chief Engineer, punished for his brilliance, in a way he never was in the other universe. Nyota Uhura, always beautiful, but here something to Spock she never was before. Captain Pike, injured yes, but nowhere near as severely as his heroism had brought him.
Spock has lost everything and gained something he never could have hoped for.
