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Apologies for bombast and stealing lines from 'Heart of Oak', but the Leicester Uni women's team have just won our division. As in, we have, admittedly more through technicalities than anything, come top of a division containing the feared and dreaded Loughborough.
The story goes as follows:
Loughborough demolish all opposition, but can not get a team together to go their away match at UEA (about 4 hours away from them), and therefore give away a walkover. This means they cannot win the division.
We beat everyone put in front of us, except for Loughborough. UEA are in a similar position. They come to us. Our lights fuse, they try and claim a walkover, BUSA points out that the rules state that it's an extenuating circumstance. They throw a fit and say they don't want to travel to us again, BUSA lean on us to have both of our matches away. We can't be bothered to go twice so we decide to have both on the same day. They agree suspiciously quickly.
It becomes apparent this is because they have one outstanding fencer who cannot fence away matches, but can fence home matches. This is a bit of a bugger for us.
However, in the interim, they have lost away to Warwick and Staffs (bless both of them). Therefore we need to beat them in both matches today to win our division.
~~~~
Luckily their one excellent fencer couldn't turn up (essay due tomorrow). We therefore beat them 135 - 66. There are already drums of discontent, from them in regards to Collapsing Dan's refereeing, and from me in regards to the behaviour of my team (I believe in a certain decorum, they don't). As anyone who knows fencers will tell you, there was only going to be a huge amount of storming out.
So they take over the ref-ing of the foil, he's lousy, our lot are beyond arsy about it. He continues being lousy, our team object on 'interesting' safety grounds, I argue with them and threaten to join the Staffs Uni men's team.
He storms out, his team nearly follow him, but are induced the finish the foil. They decide to forfeit the epee. Which leads to us winning 135 - 39, or 90 - 39, depending which way you'd rather look at it.
Important things to note:
Them being arseholes, does not mean we should be too.
I'm getting better at epee.
The Staffs men's team are all edible.
Even better, flirting with them is the ultimate no risk experience ;) Bless their cotton socks.
UEA have a better student's union than us. It's huge and filled with stuff and cheaper than ours.
The story goes as follows:
Loughborough demolish all opposition, but can not get a team together to go their away match at UEA (about 4 hours away from them), and therefore give away a walkover. This means they cannot win the division.
We beat everyone put in front of us, except for Loughborough. UEA are in a similar position. They come to us. Our lights fuse, they try and claim a walkover, BUSA points out that the rules state that it's an extenuating circumstance. They throw a fit and say they don't want to travel to us again, BUSA lean on us to have both of our matches away. We can't be bothered to go twice so we decide to have both on the same day. They agree suspiciously quickly.
It becomes apparent this is because they have one outstanding fencer who cannot fence away matches, but can fence home matches. This is a bit of a bugger for us.
However, in the interim, they have lost away to Warwick and Staffs (bless both of them). Therefore we need to beat them in both matches today to win our division.
~~~~
Luckily their one excellent fencer couldn't turn up (essay due tomorrow). We therefore beat them 135 - 66. There are already drums of discontent, from them in regards to Collapsing Dan's refereeing, and from me in regards to the behaviour of my team (I believe in a certain decorum, they don't). As anyone who knows fencers will tell you, there was only going to be a huge amount of storming out.
So they take over the ref-ing of the foil, he's lousy, our lot are beyond arsy about it. He continues being lousy, our team object on 'interesting' safety grounds, I argue with them and threaten to join the Staffs Uni men's team.
He storms out, his team nearly follow him, but are induced the finish the foil. They decide to forfeit the epee. Which leads to us winning 135 - 39, or 90 - 39, depending which way you'd rather look at it.
Important things to note:
Them being arseholes, does not mean we should be too.
I'm getting better at epee.
The Staffs men's team are all edible.
Even better, flirting with them is the ultimate no risk experience ;) Bless their cotton socks.
UEA have a better student's union than us. It's huge and filled with stuff and cheaper than ours.