redfiona99

Apparently, getting your appendix removed acts like go-faster stripes - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/68649296

Before any of the speed freaks get any ideas, that's a joke.

A Ferrari 1-2 should always be celebrated, except there's that sinking feeling that it was only possible because Max Verstappen's car broke.

Also, having the race carry on while a driver was trapped in his car on the circuit - not good. F1, you are better than that.

Going back to the bingo cards seems a little churlish since Ferrari, solidly the second best team.

On the other hand, one car had brakes that both stopped and shunted the car to the right, and Ferrari are 25 seconds behind the fastest Red Bull (and 3 second behind the second Red Bull).

There was also the opportunity to reshuffle the bingo card and add a couple of fresh squares.

( Behold the new card )

Taking a positive from Bahrain, at least the Red Bulls aren't 50 points ahead ... yet.

And despite their on-going attempts to cause me to shriek in public (because I watched the race in a Walkabout), at least the Ferraris didn't hit each other.

I fear this season is going to be a lot of finding of tiny victories while Red Bull take all the big ones.

A number of factors have caused these to be delayed.

1 - Most of these Grand Prix were in awkward time zones for me to watch/listen to live, which always makes it more difficult to catch up with the races, because the replays are at even odder times. (More on this in the Las Vegas wrap up)

2 - A distinct feeling of "after the Lord Mayor's show" about the whole thing. It feels like Red Bull won the title so long ago that there's nothing to fight for, and three out of the five races were at street circuits so there wasn't going to be much racing either to keep people interested.

3 - Oh my prophetic soul, when I made the comment about the races being one Ferrari driver strong, one having a nightmare, I was complaining about an existing pattern, but it's carried on. Which makes for painful watching as a Ferrari fan.

United States Grand Prix:

The Circuit of the Americas is my favourite of the American races, not unsurprisingly since it's the only one on an actual race track #JustSayNoToStreetCircuits

It's also one of my favourite tracks, because of the elevation changes and the potential for racing (and the cowboy nonsense, this year's highlight being giant cow terrifying Tsunoda).

Of course, all the things I like about came back to bite Ferrari in the tush after a good performance by Leclerc.

Ferrari race summary: The circuit hated Leclerc.
Sainz jnr. got a podium

I understand the FIA's point that they don't have the time to test more than 2 cars after each race, and as long as it's random draw, I can live with it, but if both cars fail a test, it might be worth testing a few more to make sure it wasn't the track doing that.

(In re: randomness of the choice, does anyone know where I can find a list of which cars are checked after each race? That looks like something that can be graphed and analysed.)

Mexican Grand Prix:

The Mexican fans deserve a much better race. I say this despite them booing Leclerc.

Ferrari race summary: The circuit hated Leclerc, just not as much as Austin did, given he managed third place with a broken car. Somehow Ferrari got a 3rd and 4th place.

Brazilian Grand Prix:

I loathe the sprint races. I don't think the suggested changes for next year go far enough, nor do I think they will actually change anything.

Ferrari race summary: The circuit hated Leclerc, to the extent that I agree with Leclerc that there's a curse (https://www.reuters.com/sports/motor-sports/leclerc-crashes-out-before-start-brazil-2023-11-05/) I just want both cars to have functional hydraulic systems, is that so much to ask?!

Las Vegas Grand Prix:

Las Vegas was the Grand Prix that really suffered from the odd time zone effect, because it was too late for the Americas and too early for Europe. As one internet wag put it, "finally New Zealand and Hawaii have a Grand Prix in their time zone."

The problem is while Monaco can work around the Grand Prix, Vegas, even in the holiday off-season, can't. I don't think they can move the grand prix to another time of year and have it be any better suited because the whole point of Vegas is that it's a year round holiday destination, and most of it's attractions don't need good weather.

It does need to be a night race. I've walked around Las Vegas during the day and it's *not glamourous* in daylight. But because of that, it can't be in the early evening, or else it would mess with trade too much, which leads to the absolute curfew issue, which led to so many of this year's problems.

Not all of them mind you.

I am aware that accidents happen, and that manhole covers attacking F1 cars has been a thing before (https://www.formula1.com/en/latest/article.new-chassis-required-for-russell-after-fp1-drain-cover-incident.2y9GeluOw6zYqJlnchaff4.html), and that time, no leniency was given for spare parts, but that was because Baku is too early in the season, or was then, to already be in "replacement part counting" mode.

And, yes, once a precedent has been set, it's hard to unset it, and yes, due to the closeness of the race for second place in the constructor's title at least one team would complain.

None of that means I like it. Or accept it. Or feel anything but annoyance at it.

Given all the things that went wrong, the race itself went quite well.

Most of the changes that really need to be made are to the stuff around the event not the race itself, and it'll be interesting to see if those changes are made.

Ferrari race summary: In which Sainz jnr is punished for events entirely out of his control, but Leclerc got a podium.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix:

Ferrari race summary: In which the track hated Sainz jnr but Leclerc got a podium

I swear I listened to this Grand Prix live. I just don't remember any of it beyond having to do speed maths about who was where in the constructor's title. That Leclerc could do that while driving an F1 car blows my mind.

It wasn't enough, but boy how he tried.

Three points in the race to second place in the constructor's championship, despite a car that fell to pieces if you looked at it funny.

I'm not satisfied with it, I am a Ferrari fan, only victory is good enough, but I feel that was probably the most that could be achieved with that car. Last year's car had go, but the strategy team had none. This year, the strategy team have reached the giddy heights of "probably not actively conspiring against the team", but the car had no go for the first 3/4s of the season.

The SF-23 Fretful Porpentine was exactly as fragile as I feared following it falling apart during Bahrain qualifying. As well as the engine and electronics failures I do have on my Ferrari Foul-Up bingo card, if I'd had brake failure, fuel line failure and hydraulics failure, I could have dabbed them once each.

I didn't have a box for "somehow, we reach our allocation of one set of parts by the second race" as a square on the bingo card, because I didn't think that was possible. I underestimated Ferrari's intrinsic catastrophe potential.



Red Bull's lead was >50 points by the second race, just so everyone can understand my pain.

Extra future boxes could include, "the drivers are conspiring to give Vasseur a heart attack", looking at you, Leclerc, at the Italian Grand Prix.

In terms of things Ferrari had no control over, if there'd been a box for "the safety car was at just the wrong time", that would have been dabbed three times

"The DRS button hates joy," could also have been dabbed three times (and possibly a fourth time in sympathy with Norris at the British Grand Prix.) I'm glad more people are coming to see it my way that DRS removes a lot of the thrill from the races.

Somehow, despite a very flat season, I'm still looking forward to next year's races, but I'm really looking forward to the next change in regulations, which I think will be the only way to topple Red Bull. That fear isn't going to stop me hoping Ferrari can do it next year.

We were right, the Singapore Grand Prix was a one-off and Red Bull business as usual has resumed. On the other hand, if we ignore Max Verstappen, there was some fun. Some of it was racing fun, and some of it was chaos fun, and a lot of it was inter-team battles fun, which is always one for the impish.

I can understand some of the team decisions, although the Alpine one confuses me mightily (https://www.autosport.com/f1/news/gasly-doesnt-understand-alpine-order-to-swap-positions-in-japanese-gp/10524780/).

I think we also just have to accept that the second Red Bull seat is cursed. It's inexplicable. Perez is so much better than that, much the same way as Webber was better than that. I did get a small kick out of people going "I didn't know you could do that to avoid a penalty!" mostly because I think I remember Ferrari pulling a similar stunt some time in the mid-90s. Which is now making me feel old, that kiddie-winks nowadays don't know that the second rule of formula 1 is "time spent finding loopholes in the regulations is never wasted."

I am aware that the Belgian Grand Prix was some time ago. I have been busy.

In keeping with the previous races, I didn't get to see or hear the race, this time because of a Saturday and Sunday museum double header, where I said hello to large dinosaurs (https://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit/exhibitions/titanosaur.html) and large steam engines (https://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/home).

I don't think I missed much with the race, which, you know makes me sad because it's the Belgian Grand Prix.

I did manage to catch the sprint race though, and be thoroughly melodramatic at the inevitable Ferrari oops.

The interesting thing, because Ferrari screwing up again is not interesting, was L's reaction to the sprint race. L is not a die-hard, he is, at best, a long-suffering dragged-along-by-a-friend. He's precisely the sort of person the changes to F1 are supposed to be trying to attract, and he ... found it to be pointless. Completely bored. Worse than dislike in many ways.

Me not liking the sprints as a cranky old fan is sort of expected, but that's it's completely not registering with the target audience is a sign they need to go back to the drawing board.

Given orange is not one of Austria's national colours, there was a remarkable amount of it about at the Red Bull Ring.

To an extent, as a Ferrari fan, I can't be too disappointed, there were two Ferrari podiums.

On the other hand, sprint races are still a waste of time, and there is no way of stopping Red Bull.

The thing that makes me happiest about the Grand Prix is that it looks like I might be able to upgrade the Ferrari strategy team's probationary cookie of competence to a full cookie.

The stacked pit stops didn't quite work as well as they could have done (it's Ferrari, it would be dull if everything went as well as it could), but they show thinking and decisiveness and other things previously missing.

The major talking point from the weekend (other than Hamilton and Verstappen's little spat about having a single dominant F1 team being boring) was track limits. I have some sympathy for both sides of the argument. Yes, having stewards pouring over footage of the track, flagging it but the message only coming through laps later is good for no one. I did like the suggestion that the message should be sent electronically and flag on the driver's steering wheel, but I'm not sure where on the display it can go and be noticed (have a really interesting article on F1 steering wheels - https://www.mercedesamgf1.com/news/how-does-an-f1-steering-wheel-work).

On the other hand, F1 drivers, if you're the best in the world, keep it on the race track! It can't be that difficult, both Leclerc and Verstappen managed it. Now that most race tracks don't have walls or gravel next to the track, but have run-off areas instead, people don't respect the edges of the track. The previous solution of "sausage" kerbs were too dangerous (Red Bull is supposed to give you wings, but the cars are not supposed to fly), so this is the solution we've got. If F1 is going to keep it though, it needs to be enforced at all the tracks and enforced in a more timely fashion.

I didn't get to see any of the Monaco Grand Prix because a friend took me to see Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Given this is the third time I've missed a grand prix this season because friends or family organised something at the same time, I'm starting to think they're trying to protect me from Ferrari's continued uselessness.

I had 0 hopes for the Monaco Grand Prix because, as we all know, Leclerc is cursed at home.

Coming out of the film, I looked at the result and saw that Ferrari had matched my expectations and performed awfully. I should probably be happy, I am the only person whose expectations they are meeting ("Ferrari: Team 'far away from expectation', says principal Frederic Vasseur" - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/65761260). You ain't just whistlin' dixie my friend.

It does support my theory that Binotto was not the problem and regime change, with no disrespect to Vasseur, is not the answer.

I didn't have "the BBC radio commentary team writes Fernando Alonso/Taylor Swift RPF live on air" on my bingo card.

On the other hand, it was probably the highlight of the race.

The Azerbaijan Grand Prix frequently has no racing (street circuit, cars too wide to allow passing, DRS zone chicken is the only sporting thing going on) but normally the Baku Chaos Bonanza makes up for that. This time there was no chaos, so the race was duller than dishwater.

When the highlights of the race are wondering why the Alpha Tauri was so fragile compared to every other car that hit the wall and how long Hulkenberg's tyres would last (answer = not long enough), you know it's not a good race.

I may, however, have had a moment of personal illumination. Something about the way one of the BBC articles was phrased made me realise that the new sprint format (which is rubbish) is designed to do away with practise to try to provide more excitement at the actual race because the strategy teams will have less data to predict performance with. Ross Brawn has had to come up with something to fill the time. I still think the sprints are rubbish, but at least I now appreciate the bounds he's working within.

At time of press, Fernando Alonso was still the holder of 3rd place at the Saudi Grand Prix but that might change again, because, quite frankly I put nothing past the stewards at this point.

What was a reasonably interesting race has been completely overshadowed by some very bizarre decision making on their part.

What was looking like a half decent weekend for Ferrari was ruined by one of the odder safety car decisions of recent memory. Admittedly, given Leclerc's luck is looking like Webber's luck of old, I have no doubt that something else would have happened if they hadn't decided to use a full safety car to retrieve a car that wasn't even stopped on track (Chapeau to Stroll for parking it that well in an emergency. Did we ever find out what caused the emergency "stop the car now Lance" message?).

Two failed ECUs and a half-decent Ferrari strategy shout getting ruined by non-Ferrari mistakes, all in two races, I'm not going to say Lady Luck is against us, but it's as good an explanation as any.

It's particularly annoying because there are the green shoots of possible Ferrari recovery.

Whisper it quietly, but, were it not for the safety car, that Ferrari strategy might have worked, and Ferrari had the fastest pit stop in Bahrain.

Everything except the results seems to be coming together.

( Picture of a porcupine )

Why?

Because it too sheds spiky parts and is concerning.

Possibly I am over-reacting to one race but I had my concerns after testing.

Some of them were, I grant, less sensible than others.

I like the Ferrari to be the prettiest car on the grid, but I fear the Alfa Romeo may be the prettiest car this year (https://twitter.com/F1/status/1622886779136184321). This year's Ferrari looks like this - https://twitter.com/F1/status/1625456362997129216

(I am intrigued by the different shape of the rear wing for the Alfa Romeo and the Alpha Tauri versus the other cars on the grid - https://twitter.com/F1/status/1629425434109652992)

Some of them were more wide-ranging. I see that Ferrari have a new team principal, which is normally a sign that Ferrari have run out of ideas. I have nothing again Frederic Vasseur (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fr%C3%A9d%C3%A9ric_Vasseur), and I think he'll do a good job, but I don't think most of the problems last year were Mattia Binotto's fault. Maybe the changes Vasseur has already made will help, but time will tell.

I was expecting more of a gap between testing and the first race. I expect F1 to kick off around St. Patrick's day; I think I've forgotten that there are more races per season now. This means I didn't post any of that before the first race in Bahrain (it also means my 75% finished post on the Tour de France Femmes is going to be delayed further).

Qualifying in Bahrain starts, and Leclerc's car decides to shed aero parts causing a red flag. I rechristen the SF-23. Ferrari do something interesting with tyre strategy, and, I am happy to give them the benefit of the doubt here, because Leclerc made it sound like strategy, not an oversight, and we all know that he has no poker face.

Then there's the race. I can live with Alonso getting past Sainz because Alonso was just having one of those races, because he's Fernando Alonso having one of those races. I am less happy with Perez blasting past Leclerc because Ferrari will hopefully be fighting against Red Bull this season and the ease of the pass does not bode well.

Then ... then ...

I am choosing to blame Channel 4, who were literally in the middle of saying there had only been one retirement when Leclerc's Ferrari went pop.

Cue Leclerc making one of those anguished noises. Or, to quote Channel 4 after Leclerc's post-race interview, "I don't remember what happy Leclerc looks like."

Which is a pretty damning statement.

In response to that, because I can cope with people hating Ferrari or fearing Ferrari but not with them pitying Ferrari, I am bringing back the bingo card.

( Large bingo card under the cut )

Guys, it's first race in and there's already been three boxes dabbed. This is not promising.

On the other hand, it could have been worse, either driver could have had Estaban Ocon's horror of a race.