The Christening Farago
Jul. 18th, 2015 10:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
redfiona99Or why I was asking about dresses.
Warning: contains my family being very peculiar indeed. (And that is putting it nicely.)
The 'Red is being peculiar' part is my on-going inability to meet suitable standards of dress. I have two settings, over-dressed or under-dressed. If I'm going to turn up to something I'd rather it be the first of the two, but I am aware that this is a problem. Boy cousin, who is the father of the boy being christened (henceforth baby cousin), has been no use, saying 'I don't have to bother', and I do feel like saying 'dude, you are not the arbiter on this one, Grandma is.' But see also, things I am aware are peculiar.
The 'everyone else is being peculiar' bit follows:
1) We're not even sure why the child is being christened, it's not like either of his parents is religious. Various people have suggested it is to get Baby Cousin into a good school. I have had to bite my tongue and point out that schools monitor things like church attendance if you're trying to sneak in that way.
2) We're not exactly sure why the child is being christened as C of E, given that Boy Cousin, despite years of Boy's Brigading, is still officially United Reform like everyone else in the family (except my Grandmother, who is to old to have been United Reform and is a Presbyterian). The child's mother, on the other hand, according to Boy Cousin*, is Roman Catholic. Noticeably neither of them is C of E. Which I would have thought mattered, but ... anyway.
My mother has promised not to comment given that she, using methods that she refuses to describe, convinced my father that I should be baptised as URC not RC, and that my grandmother, again using methods unmentioned, convinced my grandfather that my mother should be baptised URC not RC.
We're just going to gag my Grandma if she looks like she's going to say anything. (My grandmother will be 94 by the time of the christening, she has achieved 'Grandma don't give a damn' age and uses it with great ease.**)
3) Boy Cousin's father will not be there because he is on holiday. Communication about dates obviously being beyond the both of them. Girl Cousin (Boy Cousin's sister) isn't going because she doesn't hold with religious nonsense. No problem. The problem comes when Boy Cousin's mother will be there but no-one from our side of his family AND GRANDMA WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.
And trust me, caps are warranted.
3a) My Grandma is not allowed out on her own so my Mother has to go too. My mother has told me she is not suffering through it alone and I have been press-ganged into going so keep her company. Hence the dress panic.
My life has turned into a thoroughly odd Les Dawson/Last of the Summer Wine/Alan Bennett mash-up.
* For new readers, 'according to Boy Cousin' has an evidentiary value of about minus a billion.
** Not in an offensive way, Nana is awesome, more in a 'the lady is going to speak her mind, because exactly what are we going to do to her' way.
Warning: contains my family being very peculiar indeed. (And that is putting it nicely.)
The 'Red is being peculiar' part is my on-going inability to meet suitable standards of dress. I have two settings, over-dressed or under-dressed. If I'm going to turn up to something I'd rather it be the first of the two, but I am aware that this is a problem. Boy cousin, who is the father of the boy being christened (henceforth baby cousin), has been no use, saying 'I don't have to bother', and I do feel like saying 'dude, you are not the arbiter on this one, Grandma is.' But see also, things I am aware are peculiar.
The 'everyone else is being peculiar' bit follows:
1) We're not even sure why the child is being christened, it's not like either of his parents is religious. Various people have suggested it is to get Baby Cousin into a good school. I have had to bite my tongue and point out that schools monitor things like church attendance if you're trying to sneak in that way.
2) We're not exactly sure why the child is being christened as C of E, given that Boy Cousin, despite years of Boy's Brigading, is still officially United Reform like everyone else in the family (except my Grandmother, who is to old to have been United Reform and is a Presbyterian). The child's mother, on the other hand, according to Boy Cousin*, is Roman Catholic. Noticeably neither of them is C of E. Which I would have thought mattered, but ... anyway.
My mother has promised not to comment given that she, using methods that she refuses to describe, convinced my father that I should be baptised as URC not RC, and that my grandmother, again using methods unmentioned, convinced my grandfather that my mother should be baptised URC not RC.
We're just going to gag my Grandma if she looks like she's going to say anything. (My grandmother will be 94 by the time of the christening, she has achieved 'Grandma don't give a damn' age and uses it with great ease.**)
3) Boy Cousin's father will not be there because he is on holiday. Communication about dates obviously being beyond the both of them. Girl Cousin (Boy Cousin's sister) isn't going because she doesn't hold with religious nonsense. No problem. The problem comes when Boy Cousin's mother will be there but no-one from our side of his family AND GRANDMA WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.
And trust me, caps are warranted.
3a) My Grandma is not allowed out on her own so my Mother has to go too. My mother has told me she is not suffering through it alone and I have been press-ganged into going so keep her company. Hence the dress panic.
My life has turned into a thoroughly odd Les Dawson/Last of the Summer Wine/Alan Bennett mash-up.
* For new readers, 'according to Boy Cousin' has an evidentiary value of about minus a billion.
** Not in an offensive way, Nana is awesome, more in a 'the lady is going to speak her mind, because exactly what are we going to do to her' way.
