The Things We Do Not Say (Part 6)
Jul. 1st, 2010 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
redfiona99Author: Red Fiona
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, their situation or the worlds they travel in, CLAMP do. No money is being made from this piece of fiction.
Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.
Characters: Fai and Kurogane, with mention of Sakura and Sayoran as well as others.
Rating: PG to PG-12, nothing worse than what's in the manga.
Content: Romance, drama and Fai/Kurogane.
Spoilers: Up volume 24
Previous chapters: Chapter 1 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/525492.html
Chapter 2 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/538051.html
Chapter 3 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/592814.html
Chapter 4 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/604209.html
Chapter 5 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/627972.html
Summary: Princess Tomoyo's palace gives them all an opportunity to regroup.
Princess Tomoyo was taken aback by the violence of the wizard’s greeting to Kurogane, but Mokona seemed to be cheered by it.
“Are you sure it’s safe to leave them together?”
“Oh yes, this is better than they’ve gotten along for weeks,” replied Mokona. Obviously, they had a different standard of getting along than most people, and yet, it fitted so well with how Kurogane was with everyone. It also made sense of the discussion she had had with Fai while they waited for Kurogane to awake.
Tomoyo was meditating when she had heard a knock on her door. There was something so hesitant about the knock that, even if she hadn’t been about to answer it, would have made her do so.
“Please excuse me,”
“Oh no, do come in.”
“Will he be alright?” Fai didn’t have to say who he meant by ‘he’.
“Yes. More rest and he’ll be fine.”
“Good.” Fai moved to leave.
“There is something more you wished to say.” It wasn’t a question.
“I ... I do not wish to disturb you.”
“Sit. This is a place of peace. You aren’t disturbing anyone.”
Fai was struck by how similar the Princess was to Kurogane. She may have spoken more softly, more courteously, but she was going to have her way. “How much do you know of what happened?”
“Enough.” Yuko had told her as much as she felt Tomoyo needed to know.
“I think Ashura-o loved me. I think I always knew that but ... how could Ashura-o have done all those things, all those horrible things and still tried to save me?” Fai knew he was babbling. “Forgive me; I have no one else to talk to. Normally I would talk to Kuro...,” the wizard’s voice faded away, not finishing Kurogane’s name, “... before,” before, when he was weak and his mind was strong, as opposed to his new unnatural strength, “I would have spoken to him. In a way.” Fai knew now that he should have been more honest with them, but when he first travelled he knew he had to lie to save his brother and afterwards, well, the man he pretended to be, the man they liked, he didn’t have those kinds of secrets.
Tomoyo remained still and quiet, not wanting to disturb Fai. How long had he needed to talk to someone, someone who wasn’t using him to further a plan?
“Ashura-o was always so kind to me. I don’t think I ever thought why he asked me to kill him, I said yes without knowing what it would mean.” Fai looked down, stared at his palms. There wasn’t a mark on them, but they were stained with the blood he hadn’t shed, that would have saved so much more of it being spilt. “I know now that I should have killed Ashura-o, but I couldn’t, I still couldn’t if he was standing right here in front of us now, because despite the terrible things, despite what he nearly did to Sayoran and Sakura and what he made Kurogane do to himself, because I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him. It’s a terrible thing to think.”
Tomoyo sat with him for a while, quiet, thinking of her response. “Thoughts can’t be wrong. Only actions. I don’t think that anyone will judge you for what you think, not now that we all know what happened.”
“I ... thank you.” Fai stood up, and bowed before trying to leave.
“Sit.” It was not a suggestion. “Sit and be for a while. The servants have been told to inform me if Kurogane stirs.”
They sat and drank tea, no sound beyond careful sipping. Tomoyo tried to maintain a pose that suggested that she invited further discussion should Fai feel like it, but there was nothing more. Fai was still, different to the animated twitchiness of his confession.
The servants did as they were told, and here they were in Kurogane's room. Tomoyo turned and left Fai and Kurogane alone. She sensed that they would prefer some privacy. Certainly, she’d never known Kurogane to talk about anything personal if there were more than just the two of them in the room.
The silence between Fai and Kurogane had reached five awkward minutes. Fai was sat next to Kurogane on the futon, a polite distance between them.
“Stop looking at it.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re looking at where my left arm used to be. It’s very annoying.” Kurogane could feel Fai’s eyes, which seemed to be drawn to the stump. It was sorrow on the wizard’s face, Kurogane disliked that, but it was better than pity.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? I’m the one that cut it off.” There was no point in being upset about things that had already happened and could not be changed.
“I’m the one that, through inaction, caused you to have to do that.”
“I regret nothing.”
Fai kissed him for that. “That’s good, because I regret lots of things. We balance each other out.” He kissed Kurogane again. “This is not amongst the things I regret.”
“Good.” Kurogane tried to move so that he was more comfortable, but it was difficult. He was still learning how to balance his body without his arm, everything seemed off. He was tempted to make a comment about how they should have done more of this before, but he thought better of it. Maybe he’d learnt a little tact on his journey, along with Tomoyo’s other lesson.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, their situation or the worlds they travel in, CLAMP do. No money is being made from this piece of fiction.
Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.
Characters: Fai and Kurogane, with mention of Sakura and Sayoran as well as others.
Rating: PG to PG-12, nothing worse than what's in the manga.
Content: Romance, drama and Fai/Kurogane.
Spoilers: Up volume 24
Previous chapters: Chapter 1 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/525492.html
Chapter 2 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/538051.html
Chapter 3 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/592814.html
Chapter 4 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/604209.html
Chapter 5 - http://redfiona99.livejournal.com/627972.html
Summary: Princess Tomoyo's palace gives them all an opportunity to regroup.
Princess Tomoyo was taken aback by the violence of the wizard’s greeting to Kurogane, but Mokona seemed to be cheered by it.
“Are you sure it’s safe to leave them together?”
“Oh yes, this is better than they’ve gotten along for weeks,” replied Mokona. Obviously, they had a different standard of getting along than most people, and yet, it fitted so well with how Kurogane was with everyone. It also made sense of the discussion she had had with Fai while they waited for Kurogane to awake.
Tomoyo was meditating when she had heard a knock on her door. There was something so hesitant about the knock that, even if she hadn’t been about to answer it, would have made her do so.
“Please excuse me,”
“Oh no, do come in.”
“Will he be alright?” Fai didn’t have to say who he meant by ‘he’.
“Yes. More rest and he’ll be fine.”
“Good.” Fai moved to leave.
“There is something more you wished to say.” It wasn’t a question.
“I ... I do not wish to disturb you.”
“Sit. This is a place of peace. You aren’t disturbing anyone.”
Fai was struck by how similar the Princess was to Kurogane. She may have spoken more softly, more courteously, but she was going to have her way. “How much do you know of what happened?”
“Enough.” Yuko had told her as much as she felt Tomoyo needed to know.
“I think Ashura-o loved me. I think I always knew that but ... how could Ashura-o have done all those things, all those horrible things and still tried to save me?” Fai knew he was babbling. “Forgive me; I have no one else to talk to. Normally I would talk to Kuro...,” the wizard’s voice faded away, not finishing Kurogane’s name, “... before,” before, when he was weak and his mind was strong, as opposed to his new unnatural strength, “I would have spoken to him. In a way.” Fai knew now that he should have been more honest with them, but when he first travelled he knew he had to lie to save his brother and afterwards, well, the man he pretended to be, the man they liked, he didn’t have those kinds of secrets.
Tomoyo remained still and quiet, not wanting to disturb Fai. How long had he needed to talk to someone, someone who wasn’t using him to further a plan?
“Ashura-o was always so kind to me. I don’t think I ever thought why he asked me to kill him, I said yes without knowing what it would mean.” Fai looked down, stared at his palms. There wasn’t a mark on them, but they were stained with the blood he hadn’t shed, that would have saved so much more of it being spilt. “I know now that I should have killed Ashura-o, but I couldn’t, I still couldn’t if he was standing right here in front of us now, because despite the terrible things, despite what he nearly did to Sayoran and Sakura and what he made Kurogane do to himself, because I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him. It’s a terrible thing to think.”
Tomoyo sat with him for a while, quiet, thinking of her response. “Thoughts can’t be wrong. Only actions. I don’t think that anyone will judge you for what you think, not now that we all know what happened.”
“I ... thank you.” Fai stood up, and bowed before trying to leave.
“Sit.” It was not a suggestion. “Sit and be for a while. The servants have been told to inform me if Kurogane stirs.”
They sat and drank tea, no sound beyond careful sipping. Tomoyo tried to maintain a pose that suggested that she invited further discussion should Fai feel like it, but there was nothing more. Fai was still, different to the animated twitchiness of his confession.
The servants did as they were told, and here they were in Kurogane's room. Tomoyo turned and left Fai and Kurogane alone. She sensed that they would prefer some privacy. Certainly, she’d never known Kurogane to talk about anything personal if there were more than just the two of them in the room.
The silence between Fai and Kurogane had reached five awkward minutes. Fai was sat next to Kurogane on the futon, a polite distance between them.
“Stop looking at it.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re looking at where my left arm used to be. It’s very annoying.” Kurogane could feel Fai’s eyes, which seemed to be drawn to the stump. It was sorrow on the wizard’s face, Kurogane disliked that, but it was better than pity.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? I’m the one that cut it off.” There was no point in being upset about things that had already happened and could not be changed.
“I’m the one that, through inaction, caused you to have to do that.”
“I regret nothing.”
Fai kissed him for that. “That’s good, because I regret lots of things. We balance each other out.” He kissed Kurogane again. “This is not amongst the things I regret.”
“Good.” Kurogane tried to move so that he was more comfortable, but it was difficult. He was still learning how to balance his body without his arm, everything seemed off. He was tempted to make a comment about how they should have done more of this before, but he thought better of it. Maybe he’d learnt a little tact on his journey, along with Tomoyo’s other lesson.
