redfiona99: (Default)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made from this.
Character(s): Hawkeye and Black Widow
Rating: PG
Prompt: Ten Words - any Whedonverse. any. black ink

Everything Adds Up )

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made from this.
Character(s): Giles
Rating: PG
Prompt: Ten Words - any Whedonverse. any. black ink

Lies )

Fandom: Firefly
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made from this.
Character(s): River
Rating: PG
Prompt: Ten Words - any Whedonverse. any. black ink

Ink )

Title: Crown Me Already
Author: Red Fiona
Disclaimer: I don't own Rome, the BBC and HBO do. No money is being made from this.
Fandom: Rome
Characters: Octavian
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 - Canonical character death. Octavian's sister issues.
Notes: Written for the OPI Summer Challenge. The prompt was Crown Me Already.
Summary: In three days, they will crown him with a garland of laurels.

Crown Me Already )

Title: I Can Never Hut Up
Author: Red Fiona
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, George Lucas and Disney do. No money is being made from this.
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Han Solo and Chewbacca
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13
Notes: Written for the OPI Summer Challenge. The prompt was I Can Never Hut Up.
Summary: It *was* a simple job. If you ignored the details.

I Can Never Hut Up )
redfiona99: (Default)
Apparently I ought not to be stunned by the technical solidity of Atomic Blonde because it was directed and stunted by people who are already on the 100 things diagram for having directed and stunted in films where they weren't the problem.

Other things that really weren't the problem with Atomic Blonde were the costumes. I don't just mean Charlize Theron and her wardrobe of awesome. I mean the smaller characters like Spoiler's daughter. I had a coat exactly like that at that time, when I was in Vienna. And I mean exactly, I can tell you that despite the pink accents on the outside of the pockets, the lining of the pockets is in fact pink and purple.



Pick a character I've written and I will give and explain the top five ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.
redfiona99: (Default)
Atomic Blonde is a great soundtrack in search of a film.

I think my anger with the film is because of its wasted potential. It could, and should, have been so much better.

The acting is solid, as is the directing and the technical stuff. The make-up department deserve an Oscar nomination. No, seriously. A character goes into shock and they made the character up to the right shade of pale.

The problem is the plot.

It makes no sense. No, seriously.

Without the last two "twists" (neither of which is a twist if you'd paid any attention during the film), it just about makes sense, because of some serious legwork by the actors, mostly Charlize Theron.

With the penultimate twist, spoilers )

Unfortunately, that's when they throw in the last twist. Which isn't really a twist and ruins all that has gone before )

In short, when your most sympathetic character is a Stasi agent, there is something wrong with the film!

I'm not even going to go into the really weird thing where there is only 1 German actor, who gets no lines in German. All the other Germans and Russians are played by Scandinavians. Now the amassed Vikings all do a damn good job (no, seriously, all my love for Roland Møller and Bill Skarsgård) but if you're actually filming in Germany, which this was, it's a bloody odd casting choice.


While the film is nothing like the advert, I am willing to give the ad makers props for one thing. Spoilers )


In a more fandomy way, you know the concept of a Remix. I would love to see Remixes of the film from the perspective of spoilery dead characters.
redfiona99: (Default)

The woman who painted her body for artist Yves Klein -


The bereavement midwife: Is this the saddest job in England? -

Teenager describes summer on 'terrifying' adult ward -


Aberfan: This clock stopped ticking at 9.13 on the morning of October 21, 1966 -

Aberfan: The mistake that cost a village its children -


Do six people die for every kilo of cocaine? -

Black Mirror: Backlash against writer inspired episode -


Phil Collins: Back from the brink after alcohol battle -


A Computer Solved Time Travel’s “Grandfather Paradox” With An Extra Time Machine - I don't think this a solution. It's a bit 'turtles all the way down'.



Bayern Munich's Karl-Heinz Rummenigge: 'English clubs almost kidnap youngsters' - Given that he's Bayern's chairmen and what they do to other German teams, this is a bit pot, kettle, black, but he's got a point.

Rugby Union:

Anthony Foley: A community struggles after the death of its favourite son -


The team fighting to remove online child abuse images -
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Shopping in Australia, while in China -


A Stray: Finding and filming the real Somali immigrant experience -


'I can't imagine being a doctor for five more years' -


The Suez Emergency: The forgotten war of the conscript soldier -


The Skype sex scam - a fortune built on shame -

Sex, honour, shame and blackmail in an online world -

Natasha Annie Tonthola: My fight against Malawi's 'hyenas' -


Syd Barrett: Cambridge honours its 'Crazy Diamond' -


The Russians who fear a war with the West -

Will Central Asia fight over water? -

The kids who have to sew to survive -

Child refugees in Turkey making clothes for UK shops -


In pictures: Framing the Mafia - I do wish they'd gone with a different title for the article.


US election 2016: Indians' verdict on Donald Trump's Hindi - From before the last US election

How to deal with uncertainty -


Regrets of a Naturopath -


Chicago Cubs: City parties as baseball 'curse' ends after 71 years -


Jose Mourinho: Man Utd boss says life alone in hotel is a 'bit of a disaster' -

Heading footballs 'affects memory' -


Key Change: From prison cell to sell-out show -

Amadeus play: NT homecoming in fine tune -
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Sport 'mechanic of the mind' brings Olympic expertise to firms -

Serial returners cause problems for shops -


'I cheated death and joined the Guinea Pig Club' -

Law and Order:

Dog attacks: When is a fatal dog mauling a criminal offence? - Apparently the answer is 'when the owner isn't a police officer'.


'Major failings' in DVLA medical fitness to drive cases -

Itchy business: The growth of head lice removal firms -

I went to Nigeria to meet the man who scammed me -

Costumes to go: Rolling out for Halloween -


10 real-life love stories and the heartbreaking songs they inspired -


Is a child bride really married every seven seconds? -

India Kashmir: The teenager blinded by pellets -


In pictures: Lagos photo festival on African identity -


What is it like when the PM is your MP? -

That black British feeling: Does the UK need Black Lives Matter? -

6 Reasons Why Donald Trump Is Not ‘Just Like Brexit’ - From before the last US elections. Actually more interesting for the wrong assumptions the analyst made.

US election: Why does the US have such low voter turnout? -


Palestinian women bring baseball to Gaza -


Live From Leicester Fuching City -

Rugby League:

Jack Smith: Four Nations role for ex-Royal Marine shot by a sniper in Afghanistan -


Inside the Cyberattack That Shocked the US Government -
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Model train prices are rising because of pound's devaluation -


Dorothy's Wizard of Oz slippers to be saved after campaign hits $300,000 -


London Is Still Paying Rent to the Queen on a Property Leased in 1211 -


'I don't': Why choose civil partnership over marriage? -

Halloween: Meet England's most interesting ghosts -

Your pictures: Witches' marks -

Putting the fun back into fitness - This is one of those ones where I disagree. I enjoy the suffering of training. It pleases me. I am aware that this says nothing good about me.

The “432 Hz vs. 440 Hz” conspiracy theory - This is your actual lunatic fringe conspiracy theory/

Russian bullet train whirrs past bleak lives -

An uncanny mixture: God, alcohol and even cannabis -

Snail mail: The postcard that arrived 50 years late -

Does it pay to sell a home online? -


Ugly US election race a poor ad for democracy in China - From before the last US election.

Why we lost the Brexit vote - Behind the scenes of the flawed campaign to keep the UK in the EU. - Obviously a little partisan but interesting nonetheless.


I’m a Doctor. If I Drop Food on the Kitchen Floor, I Still Eat It. -

Breast-Feeding the Microbiome -

Nine colourful facts about chameleons -

Cancer care: Is world class status a distant dream? -


Blockchain bandits hit crypto start-ups -

Clicks and bricks: How building is going digital -
redfiona99: (Default)
Picture under the cut )

Obviously, the actors link to other films, but after none of the half-a-gazillion producers (how many producers does one film need anyway) did, I started to wonder if that was all.

It wasn't.

Corey Yuen was also fight choreographer for The Transporter 3.

A and B are Brian Tyler and Jonathan Eusebio, who wrote the music and did fight choreography for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

C is Chad Stahleski who also co-ordinated stunts for The Matrix: Reloaded and X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Jon Valera also co-ordinated stunts for X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

The Expendables on its own really has changed the shape of the overall network.
redfiona99: (Default)
1 - I have doubts, grave doubts, about this 4DX film thing. It strikes me as gimmicky, Castle-level gimmicky.

2 - I think I know why I am so disappointed by the idea of Blade Runner 2049. We're spending lots of money to recreate the way 35 years ago thought today would look. Where are the films about what today thinks 35 years in the future is going to look like. So much has changed since 1982, you'd think that would be reflected in our vision of the future.

Think about it - Dennis Villeneuve + all the money + a free reign to envision a future.

I think I won't enjoy Blade Runner 2049 because Ryan Gosling is one of those actors with whom I do not jibe but I'll probably give it a go.

3 - I've figured out what really didn't work for me about the characterisation about the A-Team film. I've been rewatching the show on UK Spike and it struck me. The film make BA be the one with the pre-existing criminal record when in the show, it's quite clear that Face is the one with criminal tendencies. BA is not a thug. He is lovely. He wouldn't hurt a fly (unless that fly were a fool etc). Changing that alters the team dynamics.
redfiona99: (Default)
This month's thing on tumblr seems to be that if your OTP couldn't have a fanvid to it, it isn't a "real" OTP e.g.

And I know it's mostly a joke but it does strike me that none of my OTPs fit the song.

I actually like Iris.

It doesn't fit because the big kicker moment, "And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am" into swirly strings

does not fit any of my OTPs.

Let us recap-

Kira Nerys/Odo: Neither of the give two figs about what the world thinks. Their problems are all character-based. See one of them being a freedom fighter and the other one having been a collaborator.

Susan Ivanova/Marcus Cole: Again, the problem is all character-based. He loves her, people three universes over know this. She knows this. She probably loves him but won't admit it because everyone she loves dies. Or worse.

Aeryn Sun/John Crichton: Their problem is really not the other one not knowing who they are. It's that one of them is a super-soldier (or not far short) for the Peacekeepers, who are really misnamed, in a way, and the other one contains the secrets of wormhole technology and everyone wants to kill him. They have ... cultural differences.

Zechs/Noin: Okay, so yes, Zechs doesn't want the world to know who he really is. For good reason. But Noin is one of the people who knows. She, quite literally, already knows who he is. And doesn't care. It really doesn't fit.

Fai/Kurogane: (Spoilers) No, Fai really doesn't want Kurogane to know who he is. He doesn't want anyone to know who he is. Because damn right, they wouldn't understand. Well okay, it turns out that they do but ... plot. Plot! Kurogane is exactly who he says he is, so that point is moot.

Rogue/Gambit: Oddly like Fai/Kurogane, no, Gambit really doesn't want Rogue to know about his past. He would like to disown it, if possible, or you know, do something to wipe it off the ledger. Rogue doesn't give a damn re: the world but has huge problems with regard to her mutant power and what that means. So while the big sweeping chorus doesn't work, I will willingly agree that the opening verse

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now"

works for them.
redfiona99: (Default)
From Musesfool, the OPI Nailvarnish Colors as Prompts fest. Full details here -

(I may be working on a couple already.)


One of the weirder Freeview channels was showing the 2003 version of the Lion in Winter. Which was an odd experience. Because I know the film very well. And it's not that it's bad.

Part of the problem is that, to pinch a line from Douglas Adams, very little money has been spared to show no money has been spared, but most of the crowd scenes looked like extras had been told to look like they're having lots of fun.

Nothing wrong with their Henry or Eleanor, though the characters are read very differently. I think there's a conscious decision to underplay the theatricality of the roles, which makes very little sense to me but it does affect the feel of the thing. The other problem is that of the younger people, Rafe Spall as John is by far the strongest actor, and that really skews things because where the film one is just a sulky lump, he's actually cruel to the servants, but he's very good at making you feel sorry for John.

I would have watched the rest of it but a friend called and we went to see Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.

So I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the opening best of all. I entirely understand anyone who complains that parts of it feel like a less fun retread of the Fifth Element, but bits of it stand up on its own. Luc Besson continues to be a magnificent director, he just needs help with his scripts. Like, possibly someone going "people don't speak like that" every now and again. It would be a good start.

I think having slightly stronger actors in the lead roles would help too. Because Clive Owen and whoever played General Okto-Bar did a much better job of coping with the dialogue than Dane DeHaan or Cara Delevigne.

But I happily forgive all of that for the visuals. I am a Cinema du Look girl, and always will be.
redfiona99: (Default)

From Post-it notes to published cartoonist -


How do we respond to threats after our endorsement? This is how - From before the last US election. Could also be filed under, "awesomeness F! yeah!"

Law and Order:

How maths can get you locked up -

How do we beat youth violence? Switch focus away from punishment -


Will India's tax evasion amnesty scheme curb 'black money'? -

The London Zoo gorilla and six other more successful escapes including Ken Allen the Orangutan -

Cheran: The town that threw out police, politicians and gangsters -


Thai king's death: Who holds power now? -

What should tourists do in Thailand after King Bhumibol's death? -

The desperate children of the Calais Jungle -

'We don't have a future' - Hanjin crews return to uncertain fate -

In pictures: How a rebel fighter became 'Syria's Banksy' -


In pictures: Assignments 2016 - The British Press Photographers’ Association selects the best news, features and sports photography from the last 12 months.


'Cut her mic' moment left me flabbergasted - From before the last US election.


Obituary: Great Barrier Reef (25 Million BC-2016) -



Ronald Koeman and Pep Guardiola: Two disciples of Johan Cruyff -

Fifa urged to give red card to Israeli settlement clubs -

Rugby union:

Anthony Foley: Munster coach's death an 'outrageous loss' -


English man spends 11 hours trying to make cup of tea with Wi-Fi kettle - I recognise this kind of stubborn.
redfiona99: (Default)
Back to several parts because of absence last Sunday.


How brothers became buddies and bros -

Law and Order:

Should Waney Squier have been struck off over shaken baby syndrome? -


Can song lyrics ever be poetry? -


Do footballers need lessons on sexual consent? -

Hollie McNish: The things new mothers aren't always told -

The Wide, Strange World of Modern Mummification -

'England's darling' and Scotland's saint -

The Woman Who Survived the Lowest Body Temperature Ever -

Yom Kippur, Donald Trump, and Apologizing Like You Really Mean It - From before the last US election

Fussy-eating toddlers 'not the fault of parents' - Which anyone who knew young me and my poor unfortunate mother could tell you, but it's important that people know.

How can a company repair a damaged reputation? -

My final year at Oxford, when I felt punished for having ME -


Kings of Leon: 'We had to leave our comfort zone' -

How Shakin' Stevens' new album led him to the brother he never knew -


Why do we need new parliamentary boundaries? -

What if only goats voted in the US election? - From before the last US election

US election: My secret life as a Texan Trump supporter - From before the last US election, and not from a Trump supporter, but from someone suffering from an email address typo.

Troubled Families - anatomy of a policy disaster -



Gary Player on Rory McIlroy, Tiger Woods and how to stay healthy at 80 -


Jennicam: The first woman to stream her life on the internet -
redfiona99: (Default)
Mayweather will win Mayweather vs McGregor. He was always going to. He won it the minute it was announced as a boxing match, not that he would have agreed to an MMA match (nor should he have been expected to). Mayweather is very proud of the 0 in his defeats column and, at this stage of his career, he’s not going to risk it. If he thought there was a chance of losing, Mayweather wouldn’t have agreed to the fight.

People keep saying that it just takes one punch to knock someone out, and that that’s the beauty of boxing. But Mayweather’s style of boxing has always been to avoid getting hit and he has faced far better boxers than McGregor. Mayweather’s counter-punching style is also going to frustrate the heck out of McGregor, making a wild haymaker from McGregor more likely, which opens him up to a body-shot from Mayweather. And Mayweather body-shots are a thing of vicious beauty.

McGregor went into this knowing all of that, and is making no bones about being in this for the money, so I don’t think even he thinks he’ll win. He’ll still try, bless him, but he’s not going to win.

McGregor has one chance - he can win if Mayweather turns up too old. There’s no way of telling when that will happen to an athlete (Bernard Hopkins was fine till he hit 50, other people are too old at 30.). I think this is unlikely to happen to Mayweather for 2 reasons.

1 - Mayweather keeps himself quite near to game shape in between fights. I suspect this causes less wear and tear and keeps him fresher than if he kept having to do big weight cuts before each bout.

2 - Like I said before, Mayweather is really proud of that 0. If he thinks he’s lost a step, he’s going to call the fight off.

I can see the match going a couple of rounds, because, weird match against Ortiz notwithstanding, Mayweather hasn’t gone less than 10 rounds since 2006. I don’t think it will reach 10 rounds, mind you, because I really do think McGregor’s going to go for a haymaker and get body-shot before then. I can see it going 4 rounds. That’s long enough that people are going to think they’ve got their money’s worth and won’t complain too much. Although, in the UK, I do not understand why you’d pay to watch this freakshow (let us call it what it is) when you could listen to it on the radio for free.
redfiona99: (Default)
The Case For The Prosecution:

I feel a bit mean about putting the Expendables in here because the film does exactly what it says in the tin. It's an action movie that's basically an excuse to cast every old action star we love in one film. I think people were expecting more from it than it could ever actually deliver (probably where I fit), and then other people wanted something really OTT, which I think Stallone was trying to avoid, so they didn't get what they wanted either.

The excuse of a plot works solidly. The surrounding cast are decent, especially Sandra and General Garza. I personally find that there's too much CG but you know, nothing that can be complained about. Nothing that can be raved about either and I think that's why some people are down on it.

I'm also not sure every scene could be as good as Tool's scene, without the film becoming unwatchable in the sense of being too intense.

The scene itself:

Why the scene is so good:

It's Mickey Rouke. Actually bothering. When he actually bothers, he's exceptional. He hits regret and the living with it, and that there is no living with it (when it's about something as serious as this).

Even at the time, I said one of the messages of the film was "these are cool guys but being a mercenary is a shitty thing to be", and this is the scene where that's really brought home. It's incredible. You know those scenes that will never get the credit they deserve, because of the film they're in. This is one of those.


Aug. 11th, 2017 10:06 pm
redfiona99: (Default)
For some unknown reason, which I shall interrogate her about shortly, my poor long-suffering mother never really played all that much Simon and Garfunkel at me so when a new programme about Dublin Zoo uses 'At The Zoo' for it's trailer I am suddenly introduced to new music.

redfiona99: (Default)
So a couple of weeks ago, I tried to donate blood (because I promised I would if I got out of helljob alive). Got turned away because I hadn't eaten enough. This may be the only time in history I have ever been told I haven't eaten enough.

Went again on Monday. This time I was allowed to donate. Only it turns out my veins are like the rest of me, small, sneaky and unwilling to give things away. Cue 3 different nurses trying to get blood out and when one of them eventually managed to get a needle into me, it taking 5 minutes to get 95 ml out of me when they're supposed to be able to get 475 ml in 15 minutes, so they give up. Apparently I need to drink even more water. Also, according to nurse number 4, who appeared while I was mid-donation to try to get the blood out more quickly, I have peculiarly cold arms, which has led to my mother saying I told you so because she has said that repeatedly.
redfiona99: (Default)
Title: This Time Next Year, We'll Be Playing The Palladium
Author: Red Fiona
Disclaimer: I don't own It Ain't Half Hot Mum, the BBC do. No money is being made from this.
Fandom: It Ain't Half Hot Mum
Characters: "Solly" Solomons/ "Gloria" Beaumont
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 - Canonical homophobia and racism
Notes: Written for an lgbtfest prompt. And no, no one on this show ever went by anything other than nicknames.
Summary: In post-war London, life can be tough for two demobbed variety performers. There's rationing and rain. But Solly's sure they can make it.

This Time Next Year, We'll Be Playing The Palladium )

End notes: I've gone with just calling Gloria Gloria because nowhere in canon is he given his actual name (which doesn't surprise me, because I have friends who I have known for years who I only know by nicknames). If I were to guess, I'd presume Graham because the Gloria Graham wordplay is how you get nicknames.
redfiona99: (Default)
So, I have a knitting pattern for a square. It is written by that same company I always complain about.

The pattern is:
Cast on 27 stitches
1st row: K to end
2nd - 4th rows: K to end
5th row: *K4, yarn forward, slip 1, knit 1, pass slipped stich over, repeat from * to last 3 stitches, k3
6th row: P to end
7th row: k2, knit 2 together, yarn forward, k1, yarn forward, slip 1, pass slipped stitch over, *k1, knit 2 together, yarn forward, slip 1 stitch, knit 1, pass over slipped stitch, repeat from * to last 2 stitches, k2.
8th row: P to end
(repeat these 8 till you have 32 rows, then K4 rows)

I just want to check that when I pass the slipped stitch over in the 5th row, I'm passing it back to my left hand needle.

Also, I'm not sure how this pattern doesn't end up with me having a lot fewer than 27 stitches by row 8. I suspect I'm supposed to be creating stitches somewhere, but I am not sure where.


Please :)


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